This would totally work with me*

“In all my years of studying douchebaggery, never have i encountered anything like this…. The back story on this is that a girl named Olga was out with her friends in the Marina district of San Francisco (known for being a popular hang out for douches), and she talked to this guy named Dmitri for all of two minutes. Then she gave him her card and said “give me a call.” The above is the messages he left.”

[via Scott]

* not really